My Mother's Legacy

I am feeling completely moved right now. So I am here...with no real direction. Just some raw emotion. Some bittersweet memories and some time. I listened to a cover of Miranda Lambert's song The House That Built Me sung by a very special girl from my hometown in Illinois. My childhood was incredible. No fences...no fast food restaurants... Just miles of land, animals, and opportunity to explore the real meaning of life. I learned to use my imagination. I was not stripped of my innocence through the pressure to live up to anyone's idea of smart or pretty. No crazy test that defined my intelligence or pageant to assure me that I was pretty enough. I am 23 years old and have always felt grateful to have a selfless mother who is willing to help anyone..but tonight... I have had a realization. My mother didn't have a dream of fame or fortune. She didn't desire to be better than anyone or prove her self worth through material things.. she simply wanted us to to feel the safe and loved feeling that she had missed out on for so many years. I understand the intensity of her dream now. I understand bc there is a sweet baby boy asleep in the next room and ALL i want is to provide him with safety & the knowledge to really feel and appreciate his life. I want him to experience the kind of joy that my mother made sure we had. She could have felt sorry for herself. She could have settled for her current comfort zone. But she didn't. She refused to give us anything less than security and her complete faith in us. My mother has never EVER doubted me. Not for one second. She has allowed me to fall straight on my butt, to learn. Yet she has never once made me truly feel as though anything was out of my reach. She has given me the knowledge of passion and purpose and financial security and I completely trust her word. When I listen to The house that built me I just bawl like a baby. It takes me back to homemade jams and swimming in the pond, the fish fry and Rockridge football games. I love that small town. There are no words to describe the overwhelming emotion I get when I tap into those memories. Everything was so pure. The way the creek ran so perfectly under the bridge every morning as I waited for the bus. And Gramps on his riding lawnmower mowing the big hill and Jenny at the bottem of her driveway with gardening gloves on throwing gravel out of her grass. I had a home. My childhood has given me an amazing sense of fulfillment. I didnt realize as I was running free through my woods and sledding down the hill that I would spend my entire life on a mission to create those exact feelings for my own children. Which of coarse they won't realize until they are much older... but I suppose that is life :) and besides when they realize they will be ready to share with their own children... which reminds me of a quote a dear friend posted on fb recently...that seems quite fitting,
"What makes greatness is starting something that lives after you"
I hope I do my mother's legacy justice.