Keeping Up With the Jonses

      I look around and I see seven year olds with cell phones, twelve year olds wearing fifty dollar shirts, teenagers threatening people on facebook and taking pictures in their underwear. I see young women altering everything about themselves. They color their hair on a monthly basis, spend countless hours in a tanning bed, and If they don't get breast implants they dream of the day they will have them. I see people attempting to alter their minds and bodies to be the wealthiest, the prettiest, the sexiest, and the biggest partier. I see people go completely out of their way to hurt others and themselves to ultimately prove that they are some how better or at the very least that they are, "keeping up."
      
        Lets be real, the things that define us in school are clothes, friends, sports, and popularity status. We carry this mentality with us through life. We subconsciously compare ourselves and feel as though we are less If we do not have more or match up. I know this for certain because I don't just watch it. I catch myself falling into the trap. Comparing what I have or what I wear or what events I go to or who I am with. When I play the game I always feel defeated. I hurt others and myself. I measure their success and my own by the scale of someone elses circumstances and goals. I never amount to the material level. I never have the best hair, the best makeup, the nicest jewelry, the perfectly polished nails, the fastest car, the perfect boobs, the coolest new technology. The truth is, I NEVER WILL and neither will you or anybody else! Why? Because society's idea of perfect is unreachable. It is unmeasurable. It is a bar raised to infinity. It becomes more expensive. It becomes less real and it becomes completely unobtainable until people are literally killing themselves to feel worthy in the least bit. There is no "BEST." There is no one definition of "Perfect." There is always someone willing to pay more, willing to "go harder" or bigger and willing to painfully and continously reach to this unreal level of existence! There is no off season and no break and no limit of money and energy people will spend attempting to fit this mold.

True happiness and inner peace comes from...
1.) Spiritual Growth- A continously growing relationship with Christ & our most righteous inner being.
2.) Mental Growth- Consistent effort to build your knowledge of living compassionately, honestly, and constant effort to obtain more knowledge of your righteous passions and purposes. (I.E. being a better parent, more financial stability, a better friends, a more positive outlook, etc. etc.)
3.) Emotional Growth- Learning to trust God and your inner voice in every situation regardless of pain or pleasure. Learning to let go of doubt, jealousy, and insecurity.
4.) Physical Growth- By this I do not mean an obsession with skinnier, more muscle, bigger breast, longer eyelashes, tighter skin (etc.) I mean a healthier heart, lungs, eyes, core, brain. A strong body that keeps you alive to experience love and life at every age. To experience your grandbabies and leave a legacy of inner beauty.

          When I set and reach my own inner goals of what I truly desire for myself and my children (strong partner, financial security, growth as a mother and teacher, positive impact on the peoples lives I come into contact with, etc.) I feel empowered! I feel capable of taking on anything that comes my way. I appreciate the joys of living and loving. I see my worth as well as the people around me. I appreciate the knowledge and unwavering faith and love they offer me. Each time I begin to feel the tug of material emotion creep up over me I am left feeling alone on an endless road to perfection. It feels like living is a battle because this material way is not what my heart truly desires. There is no meeting the magnitude of this material mindset. Society's idea of beautiful and strong is sick and tainted with expensive plastic and cotton. The "If I only had more I would feel better," mentality is temporary and we are right back to square one. Living paycheck to paycheck or waiting for our purpose to suddenly appear.

          I want my children define themselves by goodness, honesty, charity, and love. I want the sports and clothes to just contribute to reaching their goals towards their honest passions and not to help them achieve higher social status. I do want my children to play sports, join clubs, wear clothes that are presentable. I want this for them so that they will have the opportunity to pursue different outlets to spread the goodness they have to offer. Those with inner peace, security, and self esteem do not need to alter their minds and bodies with material to fit in or make an impact. Beautiful on the outside does not at all hide inner pain and doubt and it does not equate happiness.

       I am not here to judge anyone or say they are have messed up or that they are messed up. Quite the opposite. It is never to late to redirect your intentions. I am simply hoping that this may help some people off to a new path that is not so self serving. I believe that If you look inside you will find everything you need and by appreciating what you have inside and are capable of achieving, you will find a new form of satisfaction. A satisfaction that cost less and feels better!

          Although the struggle and temptation of living the material lifestyle is hard to overcome and seemingly impossible to completely ignore, due to the media and the massive amount of society with the, "Please me now!" mindset, we can find ways to teach our children, the future!!, and ourselves how to experience love and joy on the deepest level without so many avoidable and painful experiences that come from the desire to "Keep Up With the Jonses."

          If we spent half the time, money, and energy on our inner selves and our futures as we do our outter appearance and status, we would mend a lot of brokenness in ourselves, the world, and the people of our past, present, and future! If you find yourself questioning or justifying your own actions than maybe you should step back and look deeply at who and what you are truly living for.

The Breastfeeding Mindset

1.) BREASTFEEDING: Only the Strong Survive-
The most important concept a "want to be" or newly nursing mother must accept is that BREASTFEEDING IS MIND OVER MATTER. TRUE dedication to breastfeeding is a conscious decision to trust your own motherly instincts and choose to nurse regardless of fear or pain! Breastfeeding, as everything in life depends on your attitude. It is not always easy or pain free. There are times of emotional and physical pain when you and your baby are learning to breastfeed! The benefits definately greatly outweight the pain and determination to succeed will prevail over any obstacle! When nursing is the ONLY option and in the mother's mind formula is not a choice than she will be successful! Preparing yourself to stay dedicated is extremely important! I suggest a woman read a self help book on confidence and determination over a breastfeeding book! Although they bring a lot of facts on nursing they do not prepare our minds to stick with what we believe when our fears make us doubt! Regardless of age, race, job, or circumstances breastfeeding is always best for baby! I stand firm in my moto that in breastfeeding ONLY THE STRONG SURVIVE :)

2.) SUPPORT SYSTEMSupporting your own decision to nurse is by far the most important! Your positive attitude, determination, and faith are above all but having people you love most respect your choice and empower you is also very important! Make sure they know and understand your committment and only offer help in a supportive way! (Not offering an easy out or talking you out of doing what is best!) I believe that everyone should have a "Go To Girl" (someone with previous SUCCESSFUL breastfeeding experience!) This person can be someone you personally know or someone you have met through a support group (I.E. facebook breastfeeding pages, websites) Nursing is an ever learning and growing experience. Having someone to reassure you during different phases and moments of discomfort plays a huge role in your over all experience and perception of breastfeeding! Although we can google any question we may possibly have, it is not the same as real human connection and communication. I see breastfeeding as a secret society that many woman never join or experience BUT for those who do, we are united through a deep bond and understanding! You should never feel ashamed of any questions or concerns you may have because we all had our own trials and errors but through dedication and support we overcame them and have experienced joys a mother offers herself and baby!

3.) THE BARE NECESSITIESAlthough the only completely necessary requirements are mama and baby, I personally loved my medella pump, nursing cover, nursing pads, Lansinoh nipple cream, and boppy. I pumped once a day for the first three months. I did so to help with supply, store milk for emergency situations, or nights when I would work and Emery stayed with his grandma. Some women choose not to pump at all and that is awesome! Those women generally don't work or have very flexible schedules. (I.E. bring baby to work, set own schedule, work from home) Some women work and pump a lot. Breastmilk is always 100% better than formula but If you are a working/pumping mother than I do suggest to nurse every opportunity you get. The emotional benefits as well as baby to breast being best for supply is worth it! Milk comes on supply and demand. Which means the more you nurse the more you make! I loved nursing anywhere at anytime. I have always been confident and nursing in public empowered me. I felt a great amount of pride! With that being said, I do ABSOLUTELY love my hooter hider aka nursing cover! I work with children and out of respect I would use my nursing cover at work. I was never ashamed to tell them the truth about where Emery got his milk from and even was told cute stories of how my cheerleaders would play dolls at home and nurse their babies and my favorite story being a set of twins who turned their super man capes backwards like they had nursing covers too! Some women use their nursing covers anytime they are in front of other people and I think that is completely fine! When I see a woman with or without a nursing cover I get the same feeling of pride and joy!

4.) THE FIRST TIMEYour first breastfeeding experience may not be butterflies and fairys! Not that some women do not experience that! I personally have found that the majority of women are nervous and anxious and takes some time to truly feel comfortable and confident! Afraid to fail their baby the fear can consume a new mom! I say RELAX! Your baby will not starve! Your baby will not break! You won't let that happen. So relax :) Babies must learn how to nurse and mamas must learn too! We have to be patient and determined in this learning process! Some babies latch in five minutes and others latch in forty five. There are many different techniques and nurses can be very helpful! The first time I nursed Emery I held him in two different positions and struggled to get his mouth even close to my nipple. I buzzed a nurse to help. She immediatly sat me up, put him in cradle hold and shoved him right on (pretty forcefully) He latched and nursed for 20 minutes! Most hospitals have lactation consultants and most midwives and doulas know how to help get baby to latch! Learn latching techniques via youtube or websites and don't be ashamed to ask for help!
5.) AT HOMEBABIES NURSE A LOT. Eat, sleep, poop. I hear people say they quit nursing because their baby was always hungry. UHHH YEAH! Brain food! Babies must eat and eat a lot! This is normal and must be accepted for a mother to nurse successfully! Be prepared to nurse a lot in the beginning! I tell mamas to get use to the idea that they will pretty much be a nursing machine in the first few months! Eventually you become schedules and you do not have to nurse on demand. You will learn your baby in time BUT while they are brand new... LET THOSE BABIES EAT! ;)
BABIES DON'T NEED FORMULA. Don't overanalyze. Don't pump and calculate precisely how much they are getting. That is what is wrong with society! We measure everything by a number! You were born with the necessary tools to feed your baby! Learn to trust your instincts and learn your baby!
Breastfeeding truly is a God forsaken right. It is one of the most amazing blessings and one of the most humbling experiences a mother will ever feel. It is beyond science. Beyond explanation. beyond fancy ribbons or words. There is no price to put on the feeling of providing everything your baby needs to survive and grow! If you believe that your cause for breastfeeding is greater than yourself or any comprehension you currently have and you truly dedicate your mind and body to your child, through thick and thin than you will be rewarded with one of the deepest and healthiest levels of emotion and happiness that exists. You will not regret your decision to breastfeed If you see past the trying times and feel complete gratitude for your ability to give the gift of life and growth to your child!

"WHEN YOU HAVE COME TO THE EDGE OF ALL LIGHT THAT YOU KNOW AND ARE ABOUT TO DROP OFF INTO THE DARKNESS OF THE UNKNOWN,FAITH IS KNOWING ONE OF TWO THINGS WILL HAPPEN; THERE WILL BE SOMETHING SOLID TO STAND ON OR YOU WILL BE TAUGHT TO FLY." -Patrick Overton

101 reasons to breastfeed & latching info below

http://www.notmilk.com/101.html

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/start/basics/latch-resources.html

The Animal School

Once upon a time, the animals decided they must do something heroic to meet the problems of a "new world," so they organized a school. They adopted an activity curriculum consisting of running, climbing, swimming, and flying, and, to make it easier to administer, all the animals took all the subjects.

     The duck was excellent in swimming, better in fact than his teacher, and made passing grades in flying, but he was very poor in running. Since he was slow in running, he had to stay after school and also drop swimming to practice running. This was kept up until his webbed feet were badly worn and he was only average in swimming. But average was acceptable in school, so nobody worried about that except the duck.

     The rabbit started at the top of the class in running, but had a nervous breakdown because of so much make-up work in swimming.

     The squirrel was excellent in climbing until he developed frustration in the flying class where his teacher made him start from the ground up instead of from the tree-top down. He also developed charley horses from overexertion, and then got a C in climbing and a D in running.

    The eagle was problem child and was disciplined severely. In the climbing class he beat all the others to the top of the tree, but insisted on using his own way to get there.

    At the end of the year, an abnormal eel that could swim exceedingly well, and also run, climb, and fly a little held the highest average and was valedictorian.

    The prairie dogs stayed out of school and fought the tax levy because the administration would not add digging and burrowing to the curriculum. The apprenticed their children to a badger and later joined the groundhogs and gophers to start a successful private school.

A fairly simple story to better show my reasoning for homeschooling my children. Far more than I want them to excel in a school system and go off to college and get a job where they will make a lot of money.. I want them to experience the deepest level of living. I want them to see what God has created which surpasses the top layer. I want them to travel to foreign countries and see the way of different cultures. I want them to appreciate their opportunities and divine purpose and learn compassion through feeling. I want them to love unconditionally and realize they are a part of something so much bigger than anything you can put a dollar amount on. I believe that most children are robbed of their true passions through a curriculum that teaches them to comply. Not learn their passions and purpose through education.... it teaches them to comply to a way of learning and living that wants them to meet material & social standards. It suffocates their imagination and their desire to learn through their imagination. I want my children to be brave and accept growth from the inside out! I want my children's influence to come from righteous intentions and people who have a passion for complete compassion as well as spiritual and emotional knowledge. I know that I have one chance to instill these things into my children and I will not put my selfish desires ahead of my dreams for them to experience God's greatest gift, life. The money and time our family will be sacrificing does not even compare to ensuring our children are getting a truly deep education and life experience!

My Mother's Legacy

I am feeling completely moved right now. So I am here...with no real direction. Just some raw emotion. Some bittersweet memories and some time. I listened to a cover of Miranda Lambert's song The House That Built Me sung by a very special girl from my hometown in Illinois. My childhood was incredible. No fences...no fast food restaurants... Just miles of land, animals, and opportunity to explore the real meaning of life. I learned to use my imagination. I was not stripped of my innocence through the pressure to live up to anyone's idea of smart or pretty. No crazy test that defined my intelligence or pageant to assure me that I was pretty enough. I am 23 years old and have always felt grateful to have a selfless mother who is willing to help anyone..but tonight... I have had a realization. My mother didn't have a dream of fame or fortune. She didn't desire to be better than anyone or prove her self worth through material things.. she simply wanted us to to feel the safe and loved feeling that she had missed out on for so many years. I understand the intensity of her dream now. I understand bc there is a sweet baby boy asleep in the next room and ALL i want is to provide him with safety & the knowledge to really feel and appreciate his life. I want him to experience the kind of joy that my mother made sure we had. She could have felt sorry for herself. She could have settled for her current comfort zone. But she didn't. She refused to give us anything less than security and her complete faith in us. My mother has never EVER doubted me. Not for one second. She has allowed me to fall straight on my butt, to learn. Yet she has never once made me truly feel as though anything was out of my reach. She has given me the knowledge of passion and purpose and financial security and I completely trust her word. When I listen to The house that built me I just bawl like a baby. It takes me back to homemade jams and swimming in the pond, the fish fry and Rockridge football games. I love that small town. There are no words to describe the overwhelming emotion I get when I tap into those memories. Everything was so pure. The way the creek ran so perfectly under the bridge every morning as I waited for the bus. And Gramps on his riding lawnmower mowing the big hill and Jenny at the bottem of her driveway with gardening gloves on throwing gravel out of her grass. I had a home. My childhood has given me an amazing sense of fulfillment. I didnt realize as I was running free through my woods and sledding down the hill that I would spend my entire life on a mission to create those exact feelings for my own children. Which of coarse they won't realize until they are much older... but I suppose that is life :) and besides when they realize they will be ready to share with their own children... which reminds me of a quote a dear friend posted on fb recently...that seems quite fitting,
"What makes greatness is starting something that lives after you"
I hope I do my mother's legacy justice.

Me on Homeschooling!

I am extremely passionate about my choice to homeschool. To me it is make or break for Emery's (and the rest of my children's) future. I believe they are individuals with unique qualities and it is that in which they will find their passion and purpose. Sending my child to a school (ESPECIALLY FLORIDA SCHOOLS) Where people are making them feel as though they are only worth something If they can pass a test... well it makes me absolutely sick. To think of my children feeling inadequate because they don't read as well as Suzy Q or didn't score as high as Jimmy on the FCAT... makes me want to cry. My children will be allowed to pursue whatever they are passionate about and there is NO GRADE to put on passion. To be happy, purposeful, and passionate we must constantly enlighten and empower our bodies, minds, and souls. School is becoming a place where children are pressured to memorize, memorize, memorize. As though they are factory workers. As though If they do not know how to memorize numbers and letters they will not have "success" in their life. Schools have less recess, music, and art time (IF ANY!) That is disturbing to me. We are so afraid of our children learning about sex early but we begin robbing them of their innocence the minute they begin school and we tell them they have to FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS. Of coarse they don't want to focus on that lame curriculum that is teaching every child to be exactly the same. AND IT DOESNT WORK! BC THESE CHILDREN ARE DIFFERENT! They are not allowed to explore their minds and imaginations. They have to be prepared for FCAT and If they are not than we believe our children have ADD. ITS NOT ADD IT IS BEING BORED!!!!! When I was little I wanted to be in my imagination world all day. I didn't want to be interupted from my belief that I could do anything I could imagine. We are doing just that to our children. We are making them believe that the possibilities are limited by their scores. I meet so many people who are still in and OUT of school and they have no clue what they want to do with their life. This is because parents and teachers are too busy cramming fast paced curriculums and the idea that grades are the only thing that matter in the big picture of life. We should be fostering a deep relationship with our child's mind and imagination! I see people in college changing their major, driven and motivated high schoolers with perfect grades just choosing a path that will seemingly work for them bc "have the grades to do it" or have no clue what else they could do. This does not equal happiness. This does not equal fulfillment. This does not equal passion & purpose. This is just a way of society judging each other. When someone brags about their children's grades or the college they got accepted to..I think it is great that they have stayed motivated through the rigorous process of weeding out the children who don't memorize well or care to put their energy into test scores and an idea that this is success. HOWEVER...I recognize that this has nothing to do with their peace of mind and desire to obtain mental, emotional, physical, or spiritual fulfillment. AND THOSE ARE THE ONLY WAY TO TRUE HAPPINESS. I do hope my children are passionate about reading and writing. I do hope they take pride in being intellectual beings. I especially hope that they believe they can do anything they set their mind to and I know and admire many teachers and parents in their efforts to educate children. I also know it is a ladder and teachers and being forced to teach specific curriculums and that their pay is even being based off of test results. I do not agree with any of this nor do I want to subject my family to the political aspect of it. My plan is to instill in my children a desire to grow as an individual on a daily basis. I will do this through creative teaching and my children will spend countless hours exploring nature, sports, music, books.. My "HOMESCHOOLING" will be 24/7. Not a sit in a desk and stare at a paper for hours memorizing something that will be forgotten in a week.

I hope I don't seem extremely pessimistic about this lol Just extremely passionate. I want my children to feel on the deepest level of existence. This means more to me than any trophy, certificate, grade, or test score. I want them to experience life for all that it is worth and never be afraid that they don't "have what it takes."
I really suggest Resa Steindel Brown's book, "The Call to Brilliance" It is an eye opener and has taught me SOOOOOO MANY THINGS and I am only on the 3rd chapter :))))

Perception is Reality.

"Perception is reality!"
A history teacher of mine repeated this line over and over and over. Not one time did It ever occur to me that this statement was so true and so real that I would live my life by it. So many times in my life have I felt victimized. So many times have I felt intentionally attacked. I have allowed myself to feel guilt and resentment. I have caused a significant amount of pain to undeserving people because I was insecure. All because my perception, of the events taking place and the people that surrounded me, was weak. My mother invested all that she had into building me my dream (a cheerleading gym) and I was only 16 years old! She believed in me! and that is a small example of how much she has believed in me. Yet I doubted my capability to be committed to anyone or anything. My perception of myself was that I needed much more than I truly did. I believed I was a lost traveler and I even got a tattoo between my shoulder blades that says, "undefined" To me I was undefined. To me I wasn't anything or anyone.... I didn't want to conform to society's idea of success or life. One of the most important lessons I have learned in my life is that the perception we choose to be our reality is...just that.. A CHOICE! When I chose to define my life and my perception of what is real and right... I awakened something deep within myself. All of the moments I thought were so awful I see clearly as lessons learned. If someone said something hurtful to me I would take it personally. I would begin wrapping my feelings and beliefs around their words. Now that my perception is not focused soley on myself being victimized I can see that these people and the situations were brought about by other POOR PERCEPTIONS. Rather than boo hooing over someones opinion of me I focus on how I can teach people to see that people cause pain on others because they are fearful. Their perception of love, life, and people is fogged over by negativity and THAT is a much worse than someone's words. The feelings of insecurity that people have when attempting to build themself up by bringing others down is sickening. I know because I have done it. It is much worse than being insulted. Your perception is yours. You can allow it to control you or you can control it! I choose to perceive my life as a positive example. I set that as my standard. I will not contradict or spread nasty things if I disagree because I know that a disagreement is a mere conflict of communication. I set my standards for how I will act and react. I set my standards for the words I will use and not use. My life is my legacy. I honor the set of standards that I hold for myself and regardless If anyone believes I am coo coo or not as informed as I should be or any other disagreement.... I will not lose my perception of my reality. My reality is a WONDERFUL place. It is full of people with emotions who are waiting to pour them out. It is full of secrets dying to be discovered. It is overflowing with grateful people who are open minded to living inside of their own positive perception. I have created an unbreakable perception. One that no satan can enter and no super religious person can make me feel wrong for. My positive perception has been with me hand in hand in creating a reality that is full of real joy and love! I encourage you to define your perception of your life, your standards, your values, and your morals. Decide what reality you want to create. Don't ever compromise your perception. Don't let someone make you believe that you are not worth something...that you were fired because you suck, that you were broken up with because you're not good enough, that you are a failure. If they are lacking in communicating their expectations of you or doubting you than you must accept that this is a step in a new direction and embrace it! Imagine this.... two people have cancer. One feels victimized and that his life is over. He accepts that his life is over and is ready to go. The other sees this as his golden opportunity to live life to its fullest. To completely get 100% healthy and show this disease that it doesnt own his body! 2 men.....same situation....2 different perceptions. I want to be man number 2 in all that I do. Because we only have one life... and as Jason Mraz quoted, "We are not here for a long time, just for a good time!" :)

The Crossroad.

I have noticed a pattern in my life. It is something along the lines of... I am climbing a mountain. Higher and higher. Eating, sleeping, and breathing the intensity of the journey my climb has put me on. I live for it. I focus all of my energy into it.. and then I am at the top. Then comes the part where I reach a height that puts me in the position to make a decision. A now or never decision. I can A.) Leap from this mountain unknown to what is awaiting me at the bottom or I can B.) Accept that I have reached my destination and attempt to stay at it. Only I have come to learn that each time I have chosen to be complacent in my destination.. I tumble straight down the mountain just to find myself in the same position of wanting to REACH higher. In my 23 years I have found that to exist beyond the material mindset of "keeping up with the Joneses" we must allow our minds to be consumed by the feelings "the climb" gives us and once we reach the top...LEAP! Life is ever changing. We dig to discover meaning..we find happiness.. we feel fulfilled BUT we must continuously reach higher. The crossroad comes when we have seemingly outdone our self. When we have overcome a fear or aaccomplished something that we felt was out of reach. As quickly as we have obtained these spiritual, mental and emotional riches we can lose them by choosing to believe that we can go no higher. The negative feelings come when we feel we have gone as far as we can go and that our efforts were enough to last a life time and that our current circumstances own us. The truth of the matter is that nobody defines how far anyone may go. We choose this distance. We decide to give in and believe, "this is it." and we decide to take that LEAP and discover deeper meaning with each moment and each person. On multiple occasions in my life I have let someone else tell me that I had reached my peak. I allowed their thoughts and fears to mold my dedication to what I wanted. I believed the "this is it" mindset. I realized that these moments are my crossroads. These moments are the deciding factor to what is ahead of me. If I don't leap when it is seemingly questionable than I am passing up the opportunity to open new doors and to reach a new level of enlightenment. I made a promise to myself when I was pregnant with Emery. I would know longer have a complacent mindset. I would continuously set new goals. BUST MY ASS to reach them and then set more! No longer will I go backwards. I refuse to start from the bottom again. It is nothing but up from here! I will make conscious decisions concerning my spirituality,wealth, and physical, mental, spiritual, & emotional health. These decisions will to go beyond what I am told. These decisions will be based off of my intentions to teach my children to live passionately and purposefully. My new mindset is that my life is much like a triathlon. I will climb.. I will leap... and then I will swim..and then i will run and then I will bike AND I WILL NEVER EVER STOP pushing the limits of my mind, body, and soul! :)


One of my most recent crossroads:
1.) Shop & eat as always due to cost or bite the bullet and spend whatever it takes to eat healthy,organic, and toxin free.
CHOICE- Bite the bullet. I thought I would feel as though we were missing out by not having as much money. I was wrong. We work harder. We make more to be able to stay healthy and save and spend a little too! It is funny how we have the ability to create pathways and make things work when we make that decision to truly go all out for it!!!

When in doubt GO FOR IT! (as long as your intentions are good but that is a different blog on a different night ;)